Sunday Picnic Awesomeness

I went to the best picnic of the century on Sunday, played a game of Volleyball with some awesome people, and had a lot of fun in general. We were a team of four against a team of five and...we won! HA! Take that! XD It was great.

Kaufé, Zach, and then me!!!

I don't know if I thought I would ever have that much fun anytime soon. It has been awhile since I enjoyed myself that much, so I'm happy that I went, kept a good attitude and tired to have fun. It payed off in the end, even if the sore-muscle after effects were brutal (that, or I'm just a big baby...).
It's odd...I hate volleyball, normally. That's one of the worst units you can stick me in in PE class. But I went along and played this time, and I'm glad I did. Sure enough, I sucked at first. I was really, really bad. But I got into it, eventually, and I was alright by the end of it.
I took a ton of pictures, ran around a lot...got lots of exercise -_- Which is good. I got to log 3 hours of physical activity for my PE course! Yipee!
I played with lots of young children - that's always fun. I know not everyone loves entertaining and being entertained by little kids, but I love little kids, so it was a really great afternoon, all around and in general. I almost felt normal for a while...like I belonged, for one afternoon, somewhere where I never would have expected to find a place in.

From the most unlikely of places come the most beautiful of things.

Thanks for a great afternoon, you English and French speakers who attended alike!

7 freaking 30 in the morning!

Does the fact that I'm used to getting up at noon make me lazy? Or just lucky? Because I do online school, and I finished a couple courses early, so I usually get my day's course work done in the afternoon and I stay in bed until I feel like getting up...which is at usually about noon every day. And now I got up at a "normal" time - about 7:30 am - and by the time noon comes around, I feel like it's 4 pm because my inner clock is so messed up...
Does that make me lazy? It does, doesn't it? Yeah, it does, I know, I'm a lazy person who doesn't do any work in the day and I'm a spoiled brat - fine, fine. I'm not a morning person. I will not use my voice box until after at least 9 am. It's a crime to make any noise besides groaning before 9 am for me, so I usually come off as grumpy in the morning - beware. Anyway, I thought it should be world news that I got up at an Earthly time this morning, and I guess some people might find this news extraordinary...
I am such a teenager. But in my defense, teenagers need more sleep than anyone else.

I freaking miss Tim Horton's!!!!! And other stuff besides, of course...

I MISS TIM HORTON'S!!!

Okay, so here it is. I'll be rambling about what I miss from Canada, like I said I would, and I guess first thing's first: I freaking. Miss. Tim Horton's. That Iced Cappuccino is looking so good right now, it's unbelievable. If France didn't have Starbucks, I'd miss that too, but France does have Starbucks, so I'm alright in that domain, but...no Timmy's. This is a life crisis, people. No Tim Horton's = no good BLTs + no Iced Cappuccinos = life crisis (I'm such a Math whiz, right?). It's bad! First thing I want when I get back to Canada is an Iced Cap from Tim Horton's. That's on my "To Do list" for when I return, written in blood- uh, ink. Written in permanent ink, Sharpie preferably, in big huge capital letters that take up one side of the entire list. I digress. Tim Horton's isn't the only thing I miss from Canada, that's for sure. And contrary to popular belief, I actually do miss some other things more than that restaurant. Like, um, I don't know, family and friends? Yeah, I think it's safe to put that at the top of my list right now. I love you guys back there, and I miss being with you. A lot. A lot, a lot, a lot. Since I'm in online school, I don't see anyone outside of the house except at church, and that's pretty much limited to Sundays...I'm such a loner, it's unbelievable. So I miss the people. I miss the people because I love the people, and I love the people because of who they are. Part of who they are is Canadian, and I miss the Canadian feel, the Canadian attitude, and the Canadian behaviour. I miss the Canadian culture, I miss the English language being spoken practically everywhere I go so that I can understand everything flawlessly instead of subconsciously tiring myself out as I attempt to understand what's being said around me.
I miss that feeling of familiarity I had when I went around the town, to the mall. I miss the food court and the stores I knew I could go in and find what I was looking for without too much stressing. I miss the bubbly employees in all the stores who did their job because they enjoyed doing it, and did it with a smile on their face because they didn't want to scare the customers.
I miss having piano lesson's with my Aunt as my teacher, I miss babysitting my three cousins all at once because they were the best kids of the world and I love them more than anyone knows. When I see them again, we'll all be older. It's freaky, that thought. I miss getting together with family for celebrations, like Christmas, birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter, and the like. I miss getting to know my extended family better by spending time with them. I miss hanging out, just because we hadn't in a while.
I miss randomly bumping into people when I'm out and about and feeling so comfortable that we give each other a hug in the middle of nowhere. I miss getting hugs from everyone I know. I miss hanging out with friends and going to sleepovers and birthday parties, I miss going to Youth Group - even though I'm too old for it already, I totally would have kept going as a helper. I miss going to school and getting a hug from my best friend every single morning, and then more hugs throughout each day, because friends give the best hugs besides mothers. I miss being less nervous to raise my hand in class to answer a question, because I actually knew how to phrase what I was going to say. I miss talking with awesome teachers and joking around with them in class, I miss going to assemblies, no matter how horrible, long, and drawn out they are. I miss wearing pyjamas to school, as in wearing them when I leave the house, I miss spirit days where people randomly dress up to a theme. The French people don't do that here, and it's a very sad thing. You can hate me for this if you want, but I miss the snow, and I almost miss the crazy Abbotsford weather.
This is a huge one: I freaking miss drama class, because that was the best class of my life and there's no way I'll ever forget it. I miss Improv Fridays at Mouat, because the Improv team was just that awesome and they always found a way to make my day. I miss laughing every day at school, because my friends are good at making me laugh, and I don't laugh nearly enough anymore. I miss being able to make jokes, I can't make jokes in French, and I miss understanding the jokes that are being said around me, because I don't always understand the French jokes either. I miss understanding everything that's be said to me, good or bad, compliment or insult, because there's nothing worse than being yelled at in a different language and not knowing what the names you're being labelled mean.
I miss feeling like I belong, like I can be who I am because I know that no one will really judge me, or I just don't care what they think. I miss feeling like I'm where I should be and people accept me for me, because they know who I am and they know that I wouldn't change that for the world. I miss knowing that people don't look down on me because I stay myself no matter what they say.
Heck, I miss French class and all the frenchies out there who I could help in French class, even if people thought I was a nerd or something moronic like that crap for being as good at French as I was. I miss choir with Beth and Tianna.

BC ferry leaving the shore behind...

I miss the culture I feel comfortable in, I miss my homeland where I was born and where I wish I could stay, I miss feeling in the right place and I miss my country. I maybe used to never think I belonged anywhere, but four years in Canada definitely changed that for me, and I want that feeling back, because I never had it before then. I miss the landscape, the view of a beautiful land, I miss the trips to Pender in Spring and Summer, I miss the beautiful land of British Columbia, because regardless of the weather, it's a beautiful place. I miss the cleaner air, the less polluted air, and I miss being able to walk out of my house and down the street without being engulfed in multiple clouds of cigarette smoke. I miss feeling like my lungs were clear and I wasn't going to get lung cancer from second hand smoking and die from it before I reach 30 years old.
I miss the sunsets and the night skies, the stars and the moon that you can see from Canada that you can't see from anywhere else, because each place is unique, but those stars are my stars, that's the sky I love, no matter how cheesy or corny that sounds.

I miss my home, everything it includes, and that's all there is to it.

- <3 <3 <3

As a side note: The Chronicler's Voyage

As a side note (my blog is mostly for rambling and sharing my experiences, but this is a little different from that) theses are a couple of book covers I created for myself, I love writing fictional novels, and I had the idea of designing a couple of covers just off of some random ideas, and...this is what came of it. It was fun...and I guess the background for this whole blog nonsense is now apparent to you, but what can I say? I just loved my design so much! (Don't pick me as egocentric, now. This was just one of those few artistic creations of mine that I actually appreciate)

Book 2 of The Chronicler's Voyage

Book 1 of The Chronicler's Voyage

Inner Mind Games (does this make you nervous?)

I've been a little conflicted lately - conflicted about what? Well, let's just say a lot of things. I don't like where I'm at, and although I'm out of the freak show of the French school system now and in doing online courses instead, I'm still not where I want to be. It's better than it was, sure I'll give it that, but as I ramble on here, what I'm trying to say is that I wish I were elsewhere. Let's say I wish I were in Canada, to be more specific, back where I came from, no matter how great France can be, it's not great for me right now and...it sucks. So I'm conflicted with how I'm supposed to be acting. Do I have to pretend to be happy and liking life because it's not hard or bad or down in the dumps? Am I allowed to portray my distaste for my life's state when I'm not even in half as bad a situation as so many other people? Do I even have the right to be complaining at all? Because this post is basically a complaint - good thing you don't have to read it if you don't want to, right? - and if I don't have the right to complain...that'd mean I'm doing something illegal. Crap. I'm crossing the line! The French police are going to arrest me and put me in a juvenile prison for complaining!
Yeah, no...that's not what I mean by having the right, and everyone knows that, but really! Does anyone think I have the right to be dissatisfied with life? Because if I'm not, then we have a problem. Nothing anyone says is going to get me to love France. You can yell about all the great points until you're blue in the face, but that's not going to make me love being here. So am I in the wrong being dissatisfied, when I can't really help my dissatisfaction? Or is my frustration justified?
Believe me, I don't want to be dissatisfied, but I know that nothing anyone says will change the way I feel. I don't want this, but I don't have any means of changing things until I'm eighteen, and that's not for another two years, so what do I do until then? I guess I have to try to make the best of things? Great. That's easier said than done. I'm lonely, I'm in another culture, I can't take the classes I want to take and I have no flesh and blood relationships with people on this continent...well, this city. I know someone in Germany, but I can't very well get together with them every other weekend, now can I? So, I'm a loner. I have no life. And whatever it is I do have (I stated I had no life, so I'm not sure what it is I have) is not something I'm enjoying. Is that wrong?
I'm looking for justification here, so that the conflicts inside of me can settle a little. Whether my feelings are justifiable or not - that's a conflict playing through my mind right now. I don't like conflict - I'm not a violent person, as much as I like to pretend to be. I just want to feel...peace.

Introducing...well, THIS

Oh joy of joys! Another blog! I have two now, but due to an act of idiocy on my part, they are not on the same account so I've decided to come to a new start. Besides, I feel like a different person after all of the changes that have been happening. Fun, fun! Or not. But anyways, this is my introductory first post that I feel the need to do to get into the "mood"...whatever that mood is. There isn't really a mood. I blog almost regularly for a bit and then I stop - that's probably what's going to happen here again, but hey! I'll try this anyways! So welcome behind the scenes of a freak who's living the fictional! So no, I don't actually live a fictional life, but I write fiction novels as a hobby...writing is my passion, sue me (Don't actually sue me, please, I don't want to offend you in any way so you shouldn't sue me because you have no reason to, and besides, I don't actually have any money...at all...so it would be a stupid idea). But anyway, this is my blog. If you're reading it, I'm lucky, if you're bored out of your shorts...well, find some with a tighter elastic so that they stay on next time, or just wear a belt.